The different types of domestic violence
When thinking of domestic violence, physical violence always
comes to mind. Not knowing the emotional bruises are just as bad
or worst because it is a silent pain.
The power and control wheel describes eight other ways of
manipulation used by an abuser.
The use of intimidation can include: Non-verbals like looks,
gestures. Or breaking/smashing things, destroying property,
abusing pets, and/or displaying weapons.
• A glaring look
• Breaking tv, phones, tablets, etc
• Punching walls, breaking doors, or windows.
Putting down or making them feel bad about themselves. Using
minds games, like making them think they are crazy, or guilty.
• “You don’t know what you are talking about, you are just crazy”
• “No one will ever love you”
• “You are a terrible parent”
Controlling what they do, who they see or talk to. This can be
controlling what they read, go, or do. Using jealousy to justify
• Not letting partner see their family or friends
• Giving a time limit for shopping.
• Not allowing certain friends because of jealousy
Minimizing, Denying, and
Not taking concerns seriously or making light of the abuse. Saying
it never happened or blaming others for the abusive behavior.
• “It not that bad… you are exaggerating…”
• “It’s your fault I hit you”
• If you would have done what I said this would not have
Making them feel guilty about the children and using children to
relay messages. Using visitation to annoy, harass, or threaten.
• “The children need both their parents”
• “Give me money or you won’t see the children”
• “Tell your mom/dad why are they not doing this”
Treating partner like a servant and making all the big decisions.
Acting like the king of the castle and being the only one to define
roles in the household.
• “Women belong in the kitchen”
• “I am the man so I make the rules”
• Not helping with household things because it does not fit their
Can start with the prevention of getting a job or keeping a job.
Making them ask for money, just giving an allowance, or taking
their money. Keeping the family income a secret or not allowing
access to the family income.
• “It’s my money”
• “You can’t get a job, who is going to take care of the kids”
• “You don’t get to know how much I made it’s money”
Coercion and Threats
Threatening to hurt them, leave them, or commit suicide. In
addition causing them to drop charges or do illegal things.
• “If you leave me, I will kill myself”
• “I promise it won’t happen again, drop the charges”
• “If you love me you would do this”
If you can relate to any of the examples above, please reach out to
Family Justice Center –
201 S. Greene St., 2nd Floor
Greensboro, NC 27401
(336) 641-SAFE (7233) Main
For more information or other resources go to: